The Ongoing Saga of the Second Date
So I have a new superhero identity. I have been newly christened the One Date Wonder. There’s a mask, a cape and everything. It turns out I have a talent like no other… and I’m a natural. Hmph.
I just don’t get it. That’s not me being arrogant, it’s me being confused.
I have had a decent number of dates in the past few months – certainly double figures – and they have all gone pretty well in my book. We chat, we drink, we laugh, we learn things about each other, we say goodbye, at which point the man (in almost all cases) has requested a second date. Hurrah, I scream internally, it’s actually going to happen!
I have accepted the request graciously. I have been excited. And I have not heard from them again. What is that all about?! There are plenty of alternative lines a chap could use at the end of a date to say goodbye. I put them under no pressure for scheduling a second date. It always comes from them. Yet the second date does not appear. It has become a myth, a thing of mystery. The Holy Grail.
How much can you really learn in a first date anyway? There’s always nerves to get past and then the bulldozing through the common ground before real conversation can take place and the date really begins. I am genuinely of the belief that second dates should be contractual because you’re bound to get a more realistic impression of someone rather than the trying-too-hard, wearing my best jeans/jacket/shoes combo, laughing my own joke version of someone. Though, all too often, despite a promise to the contrary, I have been denied the opportunity to prove this theory.
One of these first dates lasted 7 hours…. I kid you not. We had such fun and got on so well, that we sat in the same booth for 7 hours straight and didn’t stop talking and laughing. The date only ended because we suddenly realised it was nearly 11pm on a Sunday and he was about to miss the last train. We walked to the station. He gave me a kiss. He thanked me for a lovely time and said he was really keen to do it again. We messaged each other regularly thereafter, but the second date did not transpire. We still talk every now and then. I asked him once why the elusive second date had vanished in a puff of smoke – asked him to be completely frank with me – and he had nothing. Too polite I guess. Perhaps the mask and cape put him off.